Things I said I'd never...

At 5:30 this morning I found myself up and sweating, intentionally. I HATE early mornings, friends. And though by necessity I have to get up earlier than I would like to most mornings…5:30 was off limits and reserved for others. Not me. Me and 7:00, have been good friends for years.

And when I was finished I flopped myself down on my bed like normal, to read and pray. My sacred hour before anyone gets up and I’m quiet and alone. It is good.

I woke up this morning with the words to a song floating in my head…Be still and know that He is God. Be still and know that He is holy. Be still, O restless soul of mine. Bow before the Prince of Peace, let the noise and clamor cease… And there is more to the rich, sweet song, like a lullaby, but those were stuck on repeat. I opened my devotional to find, “And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm Mark 4:39.” The words that followed seemed almost useless after I realized where God was headed…after my heart again. He’s sneaky sometimes.

I told friends last night that my Ashlin and her struggles were breaking my heart. And that it feels just like that some days…a storm, and we’re stuck. I easily go back to that tempting spot where worry comforts. And I find myself stuck in my metaphorical thinking spot…”Think, think, think. Oh, bother.” But God was telling me this morning to give it over to Him. And BE STILL. Embrace today.

At 7:30 this morning I stopped. I laughed out loud. Madalyn, after I’d just fixed her overnight bird’s nest of hair (cute pink bow in place, braids just so) was laying with her dress over her head, halfway under my bed, singing something undistinguishable to hear it echo through the mattress. And of course, she’d tucked her turkey bacon between her knees…because where else would it go?

Ashlin sat at the desk in the corner of my room, bouncing on a yoga ball, drinking coffee (yes you read right), while chewing gum, and playing with her favorite spiky squish ball. All while doing her first assignment for the day. And actually getting it done and doing well (sounds like a bad example from a what not to do while parenting lesson). Never. Never have I ever, thought we’d be here. I could not HELP but laugh.

So, I told the Lord in the quiet that followed after carpool and quiet reading time, that all the new places and directions He’s leading; the direction we desperately need, I will do my best to willingly embrace and then be at peace.

5:30 mornings, if that’s what it takes. Yoga balls during spelling. A little coffee for focus. And turkey bacon between your knees while you sing through the mattress. It’s all so good.